A Rose Among Ashes
by sareychan
Summary: Rin is reincarnated across time, searching for her Lord Sesshomaru. Without the memory of her first death and discovering that there are those who would keep her apart from her Lord, she must uncover the plot that has separated them over the ages. Will they be together again or will fate see that they remain forever apart?


**I've wanted to do a Rin/Sesshomaru fic for some time and finally jotted down a first chapter. I would love to hear your input as it progresses so please comment :) Ideas are always welcome! -sarey  
**

**A/N: This fanfic contains adult content and is intended for readers 18years and older!**

***I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters, I just like to speculate on the nature of their relationships ;)***

* * *

_**Ch 1- Memories**_

**oshiroi- rice powder paste for painting the face, neck, and chest white **

**yūkaku- pleasure district/red-light district**

**bakuto- gamblers**

**burakumin- ****members of outcast communities, composed of those with occupations considered ****impure****or tainted by death (such as executioners, undertakers, workers in slaughterhouses, butchers or tanners)**

**nee-san- big sister**

**Character Names: Matsubito- one who is as faithful and enduring as a pine **

**Hisa- long-lasting, enduring**

** Nagataka- obligation, everlasting filial duty**

_**Shinmachi, Ōsaka 1643**_

This Rin remembers. This Rin sees his face in all things.

This Rin is going to end it all tonight.

She twisted her long black hair into a bun and slid a red lacquer stick through each side. She painted her face, just like she does every night. She dipped the bamboo brush into the oshiroi and worked it up from her chest and neck. She painted her lips and eyes. The seemingly endless and arduous task of her miserable existence. Night after night she entertained and pleasured men who wandered into the yūkaku. Men who were not him.

Finished with her painted mask, Rin stood to dress herself. She frowned at the mirror, her face was a mockery. He would never approve. He would have pushed her away and demanded that she wash the mask from her face. She couldn't remember how she had died only that it had separated her from her Lord. The only Lord that she ever wished to kneel before.

Sixteen years of loneliness and longing. Sixteen years of wondering where he was and why he had not come for her. She wasn't going to wait any longer. _Maybe in the next life. Maybe then he will come for me._

Memories of simpler times flashed behind her eyes. Better times. Memories of her previous life. His long silver hair trailing behind him as she followed. Cold citrine eyes. Words, smooth like waterfalls cascading from a marble mouth.

She knew why she remembered. It was because she was born to be with her Lord. Because she would follow him always. Only he was not here to follow. Not for sixteen godforsaken years.

Rin whispered his name, just to hear it aloud one last time, "Lord Sesshomaru." It tasted bitter. Maybe it was just the bile rising from her twisted stomach. Or perhaps it was the iron dagger piercing her heart. She didn't care. The pain of the flesh was only that, an echo of her misplaced life. She was ready to be free of it. And so she was.

The body of Matsubito was later discovered, the spirit of Rin long gone from her earthly prison.

* * *

_**Sanya, Edo 1861**_

"Hisa! Where's that sake?"

_It's Rin, _she thought to herself. Hisa pressed her hand against the pitcher, confirming that the sake was hot. She gathered it, along with several cups, and scrambled down the hallway to the gambling room. The dice roller was lowering himself to kneel in front of the faded die that would soon ascertain the fates of all those hungry faces. Men of all ages from all walks of life were gathered there. Most of them poor and desperate, clinging to a final hope. She hated it. It was something to which she could relate. But she needed the money.

Three more months and she should have enough money saved to start her journey. He was out there somewhere and she was going to find him. This Rin was determined.

Born into a burakumin family, Hisa began with a meager outlook on life. Her parents were hide tanners by trade and so they were confined to the "dirty" side of town as their work made them unfit to live with the rest of society. Rin came into the world three years before her family died in one of the great fires that burned through Edo.

They had called her Hisa, but she knew her name was Rin. That was what _he_ had called her.

Hisa grew up in the shelter of a neighboring burakumin family where she helped with the house chores until she was old enough to start working. She got in with the local bakuto when she was 16 and the illegal work seemed to pay better than her previous legitimate jobs.

She poured hot sake for the lowly men that sat around the gambling mat. Some ignored her, others eyed her dangerously. She was a beautiful young woman and harassment came with the job. Hisa hurried through her task eager to leave the oppressing atmosphere of the room. Her nightly shift had only just begun and she sighed at the hours of work ahead of her.

A tug at her kimono sent Hisa spinning around to identify the source. It was a young man, probably in his early twenties, with a kind face and a genuine smile. Something that Hisa was unaccustomed to seeing in the gambling house. But it was his unusual amber eyes that struck her.

"Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?" The young man asked curiously as he peered deeply into her black eyes.

Hisa blushed at his forward demeanor, "I don't think so." She was uncomfortable for reasons she couldn't describe. Something about him was indeed familiar to her but the thought of it made her terribly dizzy.

Suddenly she found herself dreaming of the man. Only he was just a boy. He carried her on his back along a long dark path. They followed that familiar train of long silver hair. They followed her Lord into the underworld. She saw the boys face as he called out, "Lord Sesshomaru, Rin isn't breathing." Her Lord stood still and breathless.

Someone was calling out a name she had heard before...

"Hisa! Hisa!"

Cold water splashed her cheeks.

"Rin?" He whispered her name and her eyes fluttered open.

She sat up and turned to face the bright amber eyes that lit up this strange new face. "Kohaku."

They stared at each other for a long moment before he broke the silence, "It's Nagataka now," He glanced around the room of watching eyes and lowered his voice, "We'll have to discuss this later."

"I leave at midnight. I'll wait for you by the back door." Hisa whispered into the long hair that fell down below his shoulders.

Nagataka bowed and returned to the dice game.

* * *

Many men left that night with dashed hopes and empty pockets. Others wandered into the yūkaku to celebrate their winnings with the indentured women of the night.

One man waited in the shadows until the last straggler stumbled down the dirt lane. Once the drunken gambler was out of sight he made for the back door of the gambling house.

The moon was high and nearly full when Hisa stepped into her sandals and slid open the paper door that separated her from the humid night. Her kimono clung against her damp skin and a cool breeze sent her head back in ecstasy as she pulled the stick from her hair, letting it fall in a rippling cascade down her back. Nagataka watched as it caught in the wind and whipped behind her like a black banner.

She was a stunning sight and he noted that she was the spitting image of her former incarnation, only older and matured in a way that made him uncomfortable.

He had been unaware of his previous life until only a month ago when dreams of a familiar woman began haunting his sleep. Nee-san, he called her. In his dreams he wanted nothing more than to find her but she seemed always just out of reach. Eventually, other faces began to speak to him. Always calling his name, Kohaku.

The captivating movement of Rin in the moonlight brought him back to the present.

"We need to speak in private. Come with me," Nagataka summoned her.

He stepped into the shadows and Hisa had to squint to find his dark figure in the alleyway. She hesitated for a moment, this all just seemed so strange. _What am I thinking? This is absurd, I don't even know him! _Her head warned against the dangers of following a strange man into the night, but her heart yearned for an adventure. And her soul screamed for her Lord.

She raced after him and they weaved between buildings before disappearing into a grove of trees.

"Kohaku?" Hisa called his name in the labyrinth of trees.

"I'm here." Nagataka found her hand and pulled her deeper into the forest.

After several minutes of stumbling in the dark, they emerged into a clearing where the bright moonlight pooled at their feet. Continuing forward a darkness grew before them and Hisa identified the shape of a small house. Nagataka went in first, lighting the oil lamps before receding into a dark hall.

_This is crazy! I shouldn't be here. _Rin struggled with Hisa's logical brain before throwing caution to the wind. _I've been waiting for something like this my entire life! I'm going in._

She abandoned her shoes and tiptoed inside. The house was small and plain, only a rack of weapons decorated the wall of the sitting room. A small chest sat on the floor beside a table and two cushions. She lowered herself onto a cushion and waited. Impatiently. Her stomach was turning flips and her mind was racing.

Finally, Nagataka appeared with a pitcher of hot sake and two cups which he placed on the table between them. He sat down and poured them each a cup of the steaming rice wine. They sat in awkward silence for several minutes.

Rin took a long drink letting the warmth spread through her belly, "Why did you bring me here?" She rolled the empty cup between her slender fingers.

Kohaku cleared his throat and looked cautiously across the table, "He is calling for you."

Her eyes widened briefly before narrowing into angry slits, she knew exactly who Kohaku meant. His words felt like a slap to the face, why was she not the first to know of this? Why wouldn't her Lord just come and claim her?

"Liar," She spat the words at him like venom, "Do not mock me!"

Flustered, Kohaku peered at her with wounded eyes, "I'm not!"

Rin slouched a little and considered the possibility that her Lord might need help finding her. That he would admit to it was a long shot. Though, as far as she remembered, he had trusted Kohaku with this sort of thing before.

"How do you know?" She peered into Kohaku's unusual amber colored eyes.

"He speaks to me. In my dreams," he hesitated, "But he warns you to stay away."

The words stung Rin and she balled up her fists in a flash of anger, "Why the hell did he send you to tell me THAT!?"

"Bastard." She cursed him under her breath as her mouth pulled down into a pout.

Kohaku proceeded cautiously, "He says that he cannot stop the call. His soul is searching for yours and will not rest."

She felt her heart swell and then shrivel in despair, "I don't understand." Her shoulders shook as a fountain of tears burst from her dark eyes, "It's...been...lifetimes. I'm so...tired."

Rin sobbed into her hands and considered ending this life as well. But she knew that she would only find herself born again into this wretched world. Besides, she was determined. She choked off her tears and wiped them away. "I won't give up. Not this time."

Kohaku gave her a sympathetic smile, "You just have to wait. Lord Sesshomaru speaks of someone who wishes to keep you apart. Once he has taken care of them I'm sure he will come for you."

"But why would anyone care if we were together?" She cocked her head to the side in thought.

Kohaku sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, "It's late. You should stay here, I have an extra room." He helped her up and led her to the spare room.

"Get some rest. We can talk more in the morning." Kohaku closed the door and Rin listened as his footsteps faded away. Still frustrated and full of questions she shook her fist at the closed door before resigning herself to the blankets on the floor.

* * *

**Rin's dream-**

"Won't you punish me, My Lord?" Suppressing a smile, Rin bit her bottom lip, "I've been terribly naughty."

"Oh?" Sesshomaru stalked slowly toward his teasing prey, giving nothing away behind his stoic mask.

"Why yes, My Lord," she turned away and walked to the open window, "I stole some apples from the village market today."

Rin pulled an apple from the sleeve of her kimono and bit into it, turning to face her Lord as a the juice bubbled over her lip and down her chin.

He could smell her breath mixed with the sweetness of the apple. He could hear her heartbeat quicken as he crept ever closer. It thrilled him and though his outward appearance showed no signs of his excitement, his demon blood pumped hot and fast.

Rin took another bite of the stolen apple and made no attempt to stop the trail of sweet nectar from disappearing beneath the folds of her kimono. She could feel the sticky wet sap follow the curve of her breast before it soaked into the fabric that covered her pale skin.

"Do you like apples?" Rin cocked her head and flashed Sesshomaru a crooked grin.

"I like them on you." He closed the space between them, pinning Rin against the window sill.

Her heart was pounding now and Sesshomaru could contain himself no longer. Rin moaned and pressed her body against his, knowing that she had succeeded in seducing her cold and distant lover. Oh how she loved to toy with him! She loved being his only weakness.

Sesshomaru lifted her with his only arm and sat her on the sill as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He nipped at her neck and jaw, a display of his dominance. Rin mewled with desire and clawed at the clothing over his chest. She knew what he wanted to hear yet she made him wait.

Sesshomaru lifted her from her perch and she clung to him, begging him with her velvet eyes. Forcefully, he kissed her. It was deep and violent and left them both panting for more. He wanted her to say it. He wanted desperately to hear the three words that now defined him.

Rin leaned in and whispered, her lips just barely caressing his sensitive ear, "I am yours, my Lord."

Sesshomaru shuddered with pleasure. He wanted to hear those words every minute of every day. To hear his Rin submit to her mighty Lord. He sat her down and growled low as her kimono fell to the floor.


End file.
